Friday, April 3, 2015

WITH APOLOGIES TO PORTLANDA AND THE U.S. SENATE

BRIEF SCRIPT OUTLINE FOR PORTLANDIA TV SHOW ON TPA AND TPP



SCENE SETTER

SCENE 1

(wide camera shot of a small, well trimmed front yard of a hundred-year-old modest clapboard two-story house, with a wide-open, warm and inviting covered entry way.)

(the camera pans through a front window of the house to focus on owner Sen. Ron Wydon in the middle of a telephone conversation)

Sen. Wydon casually dressed for the week-end away from Washington – wearing a cardigan sports coat over an open collar blue dress shirt and not-well worn jeans – is seen standing up and talking in a friendly, but distinct manner on the telephone.  Here is his side of the conversation –

It goes like this –


Wydon – “Yes, Orrin, I understand.  You know that I have consistently voted for trade legislation”

(unheard response from Sen. Hattch) ......

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Wydon – “You know I am committed to free trade.  It’s something that has made my state of Oregon great.  I don’t have to tell you how exports have added to the state’s economy – and its workforce.”

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Wydon – “Yes Orrin.  I know”

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Wydon – “I understand.  No one knows better the benefits that trade has bestowed on this state.”

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Wydon – “No.  It is not a partisan issue with me.  What Democratic senator in his right mind would oppose both you and the President?  It is something different.   Nothing personal.”

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Wydon – “Hold on for a minute Orrin.  I can’t understand what you’re saying.  There seems to be some noise on the line.  No, its coming from outside.  I’ll call you right back.”




SCENE 2

(camera pans backwards from the window to a gathering of about a half-zone middle aged – from early to almost elderly men and women – standing on the front sidewalk and dressed in well-worn jeans that look vintage Salvation Army or kept since college days 40 years ago.)

The demonstrators – lined up in a row of six – are holding up hand-made signs.  One for each.


One placard is a enlarged full-face photo of Sen. Wydon.  Another is a cartoon balloon tag pointing to Sen. Wydon’s open mouth – saying:  “I Believe in Transparency.  That’s Why A Secret Trade Deal Sounds Good to Me.  We’ll have to push it through quick with FAST TRACK.”

Two others, standing closer to each other – perhaps husband and wife, hold print-shop signs.  One says – “Ron Wydon:  New York’s 3rd Senator and Orrin Hattch’s New Best Friend.”  The wife – or loyal live-in partner since the old days – holds a similar placard reading – “Wydon of New York.  Out-Smarted by Orrin Hattch on “Fast Track” & Corporate Trade”

(aside – the woman is looking intensely at her pink i-Phone.”

The ruckus gradually peters out, leaving a single demonstrator – and from the looks of him a survivor of the early stages of the Baby Boomers – continues to shout in a distinct and loud tone – “Hell No, We Won’t Go!  Hell No, We Won’t Go!  Hell No, We Won’t Go!”

The group dissipates after a strenuous ten-minute workout.


(The camera pans up to the sky capturing a white commercial advertising blimp – like those common on sale days at auto dealer parks.  Attached to the side is a banner reading – “Ron Wydon!  It’s no to you.  Don’t betray us.”)


The sky is clear and cloudless.




SCENE 3

(Camera returns, peering again through the front window as Sen. Wydon scratches and then shakes his head in wonderment.)


The senator dials the phone – waits a brief few seconds and says –


Wydon –  “Hello Orrin.  Sorry about that.  Just a little disturbance out front.   It’s all taken care of now.”

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Wydon – Orrin.  Just can’t do it.  It has nothing to do with reason and everything to do with the game.  You know what I mean.   Getting reelected sometimes means taking less than reasonable approaches.   That’s what’s happening here.

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Wydon – You see this is the last chance for my aging Oregon “free spirts” to have a go-round in life.  Mostly greyed and wrinkled, they view it as their final opportunity to be relevant, to bring back their youth and optimism of decades ago.  They just want to save the world from itself one more time.  Get away from the tv set and experience life again – if at least for a fleeting few moments.  You know what I mean.  You lived the turmoil of the ‘60s.  I think they had that decade in Utah.  You can understand, can’t you?


Sen. Hattch – a muffled “No” is heard from the ear pieces.  (For a moment Sen. Wydon holds the phone away from his ear.)

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Wydon – I just witnessed the plain truth of what I was saying.  These constituents of mine want to take a last stab on making change happen before they are carried away to the great beyond.  And TPP and TPA is their target – more by happenstance then by intention.  For them, time and circumstances have collided.

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Wydon – But they are my constituents and I’m their’s.

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Wydon – Yes you may be right, but I have a responsibility to my voters.  


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Wydon – Yes I recognize that you answer to a higher authority in Utah.  It’s not quite like that in Oregon.

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Wydon – I have a responsibility to make them comfortable in their fading years.  And if that means opening the books on TPP and TPA, then so be it.

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Wydon – No choice.  Can’t do it.


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Wydon – Maybe things will be different after next November.


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Wydon – See you in Washington.